Self-Compassion Mantra
#selfcaresunday
Dr. Kristin Neff offers this self-compassion exercise in her book, Self-Compassion:
A self-compassion mantra is a set of memorized phrases that are repeated silently whenever you want to give yourself compassion. They are most useful in the heat of the moment, whenever strong feelings of distress arise.
This is a moment of suffering.
Suffering is part of life.
May I be kind to myself at this moment.
May I give myself the compassion I need.
You might find that the phrases I created work for you, but it’s worth playing with them to see if you can find phrases that fit you better. What’s important is that all three aspects of self-compassion are evoked, not the particular words used.
Self compassion include three components—
Self-kindness: being gentle and understanding with ourselves rather than harshly critical and judgmental.
Common humanity: feeling connected with others, rather than isolated and alienated by our suffering.
Mindfulness: maintaining balanced awareness of our experience, rather than ignoring our pain or exaggerating it.
Other possible wordings for the first phrase, “This is a moment of suffering,” are “I’m having a really hard time right now,” “It’s painful for me to feel this now,” and so on.
Other possible wordings for the second phrase, “Suffering is part of life,” are “Everyone feels this way sometimes,” “This is part of being human,” and so on.
Other possible wordings for the third phrase, “May I be kind to myself in this moment,” are “May I hold my pain with tenderness,” “May I be gentle and understanding with myself,” and so on.
Other possible wordings for the final phrase, “May I give myself the compassion I need,” are “I am worthy of receiving self-compassion,” “I will try to be as compassionate as possible,” and so on.
Find the four phrases that seem most comfortable for you and repeat them until you have them memorized. Then, the next time you judge yourself or have a difficult experience, you can use your mantra to help remind yourself to be more self-compassionate. It’s a handy tool to help soothe and calm troubled states of mind (2011:41;121-122).
May your practice of self-care be characterized by self-empathy and self-compassion.
Take good care of yourself and other people,
Notes:
Neff, Kristin. Self-Compassion: Stop Beating Yourself Up and Leave Insecurity Behind, William Morrow, 2011.
This will be very useful. Thank you for sharing!